“Live and do what you love”: Even when life seems miserable, you can find the power in yourself to keep going
May 23, 2017
We are deeply honoured with all the people who have shared their stories as part of the #BeYourself campaign. Many of our journeys are met with challenges, particularly dealing with frustrations and prejudices that exist in our society. As part of the #BeYourself campaign we want to highlight that there is an amazing community of support here and we all have a voice that is respected and loved. One of our writers has submitted his story about his journey to Ireland and the challenges and frustrations that he dealt with on his way.
Hi. I’m writing this in hope to help people living with similar struggles as I did, but to understand what I say you need to understand that I’m coming from a country in which to be gay is very shameful and you’re considered as a disgrace to your family.
All my life I had to learn how to be strong at the age of 22 my boyfriend and my father died on the same day, my boyfriend was in his holidays and I was alone in the morning with my father because I had to celebrate my birthday (yes I know they both died on my birthday). It’s been 7 years since I have lost these two much loved people from my life, but I’m doing my best to grow and move past it.
My story does not stop here, four years after this event I had heard my mom talking with my brothers and they had made me feel guilty for my father’s death, it was very hard for me as I know it wasn’t my fault. He died from a heart attack and I was in my room listening music and working on my laptop as usual, didn’t know what was happening in the house (he was in his room, I was the only one in the house – I need to say he was 52 years old and I don’t know if I had mentioned that he was an alcoholic).
After overhearing a talk with my mom and brothers, the next day my mom told me that it would be the best for me if I would live in another country. She said that it’s in my best interest to leave our house because she knew that I was gay. I was shocked! I booked a ticket to Ireland for the following month and came to Dublin. It’s been 2 years since I had started my family’s “exile” and started again from nothing.
Since 23 years old, I tried to commit suicide twice because of the prejudice from friends that didn’t understood me being gay. For me it’s a struggle to find myself even now because I can’t understand how people are like this. It’s nobody’s business what I do in my bed!!! What I can’t understand with my family is that my mom considered that it was way better to stay in the house with my alcoholic brother and kicking me out, why ???? Because I was GAY??? Yes, I know it’s ridiculous, but this is the life that we are living.
Don’t end your life because you’re not understood, and the most appropriate solution, as someone says, “Live and do what you love”(St Augustin) or “be strong in your principles but gentle in their application.”