As part of the #BeYourself campaign and also in collaboration with TENI (Trans Equality Network Ireland) campaign #TRANSformingLives17 we have asked a number of people to contribute an article journalling their thoughts on being yourself and embracing their inner uniqueness. Anna shares her thoughts below:
I wish I could send a message to a younger me telling him to #BeYourself.
My name is Anna and I’m a crossdresser, which is to say I’m a man who derives great pleasure from transforming himself into a woman every now and then. I’m still the same me I’m just dressed from a different part of the wardrobe. While I was in no doubt that I was happy and comfortable being male the lure of feminine things was and still is irresistible. A love of woman’s clothes can be very confusing when you’re a boy growing up. Guilt and disgust at oneself mixed in with a cornucopia of conflicting pleasant emotions.
I hid it from everybody for many years until finally coming out to my wife and a select group of friends 6 years ago. In doing this I was able to begin a process of coming to terms with it in tandem with her and not be so worried what the world at large would say. A couple of years later I started a blog where I could write about my crossdressing called ‘Confessions of Anna Secret Poet’. The secret poet moniker was just an old online username and the aim of the blog was really just to try and understand it by writing about it.
Things moved up a gear or two in 2016 when I decided to actually take my alter ego to the stage as a performing poet and singer. I did it with low expectations, as I do with most things, but over the many appearances I began to make at various cabaret and comedy nights, I realized there was actually an audience for Anna. My confidence grew and so did my acceptance of my femme side. Additionally I was able to get out and about which I had always yearned to do.
There are also people that only know Anna! This pleases me greatly and makes up for the amount of time I spent denying this side of me. Inevitably there were one or two people who don’t want to support this side of me but that’s okay, I understand. It must be hard for some folk to reconcile this new information with what they’ve known of me for so long. The enthusiasm I receive from everyone else more than makes up for that. Compliments are still something I’m very bashful about but I hope to improve that at some point soon.
Being myself – or at least embracing a hidden aspect of myself this past year – has been one of my better decisions and I always look forward to my next show. The reason that I wish I could talk to my younger self is that I wish I had done it sooner, but I am content. The only possible downside is that my social media interaction has sky rocketed somewhat and it’s getting a bit crazy to keep on top of it all. Anna’s so much more popular than him!
You can do it too, I promise. The world really is populated with a lot of really cool people, I know it doesn’t seem like it at times but trust me they are out there and they’ll love you regardless
To find out more about Anna, visit the following links: